When I’m Not Feeling Joy

Yesterday, we explored a definition of joy, and considered where we can find joy. Of course, the reality is that sometimes we will struggle to find joy. We won’t be feeling it. What do we do then? What kinds of habits will help? Here are four brief thoughts. Nothing ground-breaking. But also, purely ground-breaking.

1. Bible

When you’re not feeling joy, head back to the Bible. That’s where God reveals the source of joy to us. Go to Philippians. That’ll take you back to the eight things Paul points us to in yesterday’s post.

Sometimes you won’t have the energy to do a massive deep dive. But even just reading one Bible verse can help restore your joy. Go to a verse like John 3:16 where you see the great promises of God. Or you could even go to Psalm 51:12:

Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Make that your prayer. And, on the topic of prayer…

2. Pray and Give Thanks

Pray for joy. Give thanks to God for the good things he has done and is doing. The act of praying and thanksgiving can restore us to joy. In Philippians 4:4, Paul emphatically calls us to rejoice.

Rejoice in the Lord, always. I will say it again: Rejoice.

Two verses later, he writes:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6

Maybe you’re worried that you’re failing to experience joy. That’s a situation. Paul says that we should come to him in “every situation”, which includes when we’re anxious, or struggling with joy. Pray for joy.

3. Meet Together

In Hebrews 10:24–25 we read:

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Sometimes, when we’re going through mental illness, whether depression or anxiety, it’s really, really tempting to give up meeting together. We mustn’t give up. We need each other. We need the encouragement and spurring and love that comes from meeting with God’s people. And providing these things for others leads to our own joy.

We need the joy of gospel partnership, the joy of gospel preaching, the joy of gospel unity, the joy of gospel service, the joy that comes with being reminded of the gospel of righteousness (see yesterday’s post). Meeting together exposes us to these joys. Not meeting together robs us of these joys.

Sometimes, in addition to these kinds of meeting together, we’ll need to meet with a trained professional: a doctor, counsellor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. This may be necessary, and may be very helpful. But even if you need to take this route, I’d strongly encourage you to keep meeting together with other Christians as well.

4. Journal

Finally, I reckon journalling can be a really helpful way for us to refocus our thoughts and reorient ourselves toward Jesus.

Sometimes our thoughts can get so muddy and confused and tangled that we can’t fix our minds on Jesus, where the joy is.

Sometimes we need a circuit breaker, something to help us recalibrate.

For me, journalling is really helpful. I don’t do it every day. Usually just when I need to deal with something. But I find that when I do it, it really helps.

I follow a process that goes by the acronym FTAGI—Feelings, Thoughts, Analysis, Gospel, Implications. It’s kind of CBT-ish but with a gospel spin. Let me unpack this for you.

Feelings.

I jot down how I’m feeling. Grumpy? Stressed? Sore? Dehydrated? That kind of stuff. I’ve gone with “feelings” rather than “emotions” because I reckon the physical stuff that we’re feeling is worth being aware of.

Imagine you walked past your local cafe and your two best friends are meeting. Without you. Nobody invited you. How do you feel? Sick in the stomach? Anxious? Confused? Excluded? Write it down.

Thoughts.

Then I jot down what I’m thinking, and in its most embarrassing, illogical form. No matter how stupid I sound, I write it down. Nobody will ever see it.

Take the cafe example above. Maybe the thought crossing your mind is, “How could they be meeting without me? They should’ve invited me. They must be meeting without me because they don’t like me. I feel like everyone hates me. Even my friends. Nobody will ever love me. ”

Now, you know that it’s probably not true. But the thought still crosses your mind. Write it down.

Analysis.

I then analyse my thoughts. Are they true? Are they relevant? Does it matter if my thought is true?

In the example above: Is it really true that your friends are meeting without you because they don’t like you? Do they have to invite you? Is it really true that everybody hates you? What about Billy at the supermarket who seems to like you? Is it true that nobody will ever love you? On what are you basing this? Is that a logical inclusion?

Moreover, does it really matter that they met without you? You’ve met with one of those best friends without the other. That wasn’t because you hated the other. Maybe it doesn’t matter.

When doing the “analysis” piece, it can be helpful to consider what you would say to a friend if they found themselves in a similar situation.

Gospel.

Then I weigh up what I’m thinking next to the gospel. I preach the gospel to myself.

Suppose it is true that you’ve been intentionally excluded. God includes the outcasts in his people. Just look at the kinds of people Jesus hangs out with. Tax collectors. Sinners.

Suppose it’s true that everyone hates you. Jesus doesn’t. Jesus loves you. Remember Galatians 2:22?

Christ loved me and gave himself for me.

He loves you!

Implications.

Then I explore some of the implications. In light of the gospel, what will I do next? Do I need to pray? Do I need to remind myself of the truth? Do I need to have a conversation? What will I do next?

* * *

Please don’t hear me saying that these are formulae you can just apply and out will pop instant joy. It doesn’t work like that.

That said, I reckon that these habits will be really helpful in fighting for joy.