How to Make the Most of Discussion Groups at Kids’ Church
The kids’ church talk is finished. You head off into our discussion groups. You walk over to your table. There are no chairs. There are a couple of pencils but they’re blunt. And there’s no red or green. You have the sheets from last week. And … you’re not really sure what you’re meant to be doing. But you’ve got five kindergarten kids with you waiting for you to do something. Except for the kid who has sensed your uncertainty and run away. And the other one who keeps interrupting you with anecdotes about Pokemon every time you try to speak.
Ever had that experience? My guess is that this is a common experience for kids’ church leaders. Here are some tips that will help you.
1. Remember why we do Kids’ ministry
Why do we do kids’ ministry? In another article on marticles.net I’ve written about how kids’ ministry (and youth ministry) is all about making disciples to the glory of God. If we’re doing Kids’ Church to make disciples for God’s glory, then that’s going to be your goal for discussion groups as well. You’ve got a great opportunity to make disciples. Make the most of it.
2. Be prepared
I can’t overemphasise this enough. We are dealing with the Words of God himself. We are sharing his glorious life-saving gospel. We are working with children who are precious to God. This means that we need to be prepared.
Make sure you set aside time during the week to prepare for your discussion group. Make sure you:
Pray during the week for your kids and for your upcoming discussion group.
Read the Bible passage before you get to kids’ church (if you don’t know what it is, ask your team leader).
Read over whatever discussion questions your team leader has provided (more on this below).
Hassle the person on the talk during the week and ask them what they’ll be talking about.
3. Know the big idea and main application point
As you read the passage, try and work out what the big idea is, and what the main point of application will be. I reckon the Youthworks Teaching Target is a great resource to use when working this out (click here). You might not find you have time to do this every week. But hopefully the person on the talk will be doing something like this.
So, as you hassle the person on the talk to find out what they’ll be talking about, try and find out what they reckon the big idea is, and what the main point of application is. This will help you as you think about what to focus on in your discussion group.
4. Use the set questions
Now that you know what the big idea and main application point is, have a look at the set questions or worksheet. Work out which questions you think are helpful in getting to the big idea and the main point of application. Make sure that you look at this well before Sunday. If you don’t know where to find the set questions, ask your team leader. If your team doesn’t use set questions, ask your team leader for some help.
5. Don’t use the set questions
In my experience, set questions can be a bit hit and miss. Sometimes they’re way too easy for the kids. Sometimes they’re way too hard. Sometimes, it’s ok to ditch the questions. But if you do, make sure you use better questions. I reckon you want at least three questions:
An easy access question that any kid in your group can answer regardless of Bible knowledge, one that helps the kids become familiar with the themes you’ll be talking about. Sometimes, I create an everyday scenario which the passage will go on to address.
A question that helps them recap what the passage and talk is about. Often you’ll have a few more than one, but at least one is good.
A question that helps the kids think through application.
6. Don’t settle for “Sunday School” answers
You’ll often get kids who know all the answers, but only a superficial level. They know the answer is “Jesus”, “the Bible”, “pray”, “share the gospel”, but it feels like there’s no real depth to their answers. Here are some helpful tips to keep in mind (I’ve “borrowed” these from Youthworks):
Draw out: “What do others think? What do you think Bob? What else can we add to what Mary has said?”
Dig Deeper: “What makes you say that? Can you tell us a bit more about that?”
Prompt conflict: “Is that really true? Who would agree with that?”
Correct when necessary: Not every answer is valid. Don’t let them believe something that isn’t true.
Be Ambiguous: You don’t need to answer every question, even if you know it… sometimes it’s beneficial to let them feel the tension of an unanswered question.
Ask for an illustration: “Paint a picture of that idea. Where have you seen that in life?”
Survey: “How many people had that as their answer?”
Summarise: “Who can summarise what’s been said up to now?”
7. Keep your Bible open
Have a Bible open in front of the kids. Depending on their age, you might not get each kid a Bible. It’s pretty hard getting six kindergarten boys to open up to page 778. But you can have yours there. But make sure you are all using the same translation. It gets confusing for everyone if the worksheet is based on the CEV but you’re using an NIV. Use the same Bible as the worksheet.
Depending on their age, you might only read one or two verses. That’s what I’ve done when I’ve had a group of kindy kids. But if you have a group of year 5 kids, you might read 12 verses or 20.
I reckon for years three and older, you want a Bible in their hands. But it all depends on the kids in your group. Which is my next point:
8. Know your kids
It’s super important that you tailor your discussion group to your kids. If they can’t concentrate for more than 5 minutes, don’t try to run a 20-minute Bible study. It will be a disaster. Know your kids and tailor accordingly. Similarly, if you’ve got a heaps switched on crew, push them a bit harder. Ask them tricky questions.
Be careful when it comes to asking kids to read the Bible. If you don’t know whether or not a kid can read, ask for a volunteer (if you know they can read, no problem). Don’t force anyone to read. You don’t want to embarrass them. There may be kids who can’t read, even in older years. This process will become fairly intuitive as you get to know your kids.
As you get to know your kids, you’ll get a good sense on when to wrap things up.
If you want to speed up the process of getting to know your kids, you could even potentially organise a social with your kids. You could invite them around to your house after church for lunch one week. Or play laser tag. Or go bowling. Just make sure it’s all appropriate with regards to safe ministry. Communication with parents. Communciation with team leaders. Permission notes. Correct number of adults present, etc.
9. Prioritise prayer
A lot of kids—even church kids—have no experience praying. This may be the only time they get to pray with others this week. This is a great opportunity to model prayer to the kids. Teach them how to thank God for stuff (Father God, thank you for …) and how to ask God for stuff (Heavenly Father, please help … with ….).
Often kids can’t think of anything to pray about. Help them out. Give them a list of things they could pray about or thank God for. I’ll often feed prayers to the kids in my group based on what we’ve just learned. Over time, it will become more natural.
Whatever you do, don’t forget to pray! Don’t let time run out. Keep an eye on the clock. Make sure you know when you need to finish up. Maybe even pray before you get stuck into your discussion group.
10. Be clear on discipline
Sometimes you’ll get a tricky kid or two in your group. Be fun but firm. In the past, when I feel like I’ve done this successfully, I’ve encouraged my kids’ church kids to respect the 3 P’s: people, property and program. If this doesn’t happen, the kids face the 3 R’s:
reminder (I’ll normally give them two reminders); if that doesn’t work …
relocate (to another group or part of the room); and if that doesn’t work …
ring (the parents)
I try to avoid getting to the third R, but sometimes there is just no choice.
Your team leader may prefer a different system. That’s totally fine. But whatever system is in place, make sure that you are clear on what the system is, and how it works. Don’t let a few kids spoil the experience for you and everyone else.
For more on discipline, and especially when it comes to helping those kids with special needs, see the marticle on Discipline and Special Needs at Kids’ Church.
